Aunt Beth: I am sending out an urgent plea for help! Maddie has been absconded by Her Majesty’s Royal Guard! At this very moment she is locked in the Tower of London! She may be beheaded on the green Sunday morning!!!
As you all know she was secretly allowed to slip into the Queen's chair at Westminster Abbey yesterday for a brief moment - by a kind man of the Royal Holy Church. That secret has been leaked to the Queen herself! Now it has been uncovered that a plot against the Queen and Princes has been brewing for sometime. It is ERRONEOUSLY believed that we are the central part of the Rebel Force to overthrow the current regime, and that Maddie will be crowned England’s next queen! Dare I accuse one of you – dear friends and family?!
Molly and I have been hounded by the paparazzi all day (see them lining the Tower wall). Every London tabloid is making Maddie’s arrest and imprisonment front-page news. Molly is at the American Embassy begging for American intervention. So far they are unwilling to help – it seems the entire US economy is near bankrupt because of the war, and there are no resources to aid our own people!
I was able to snap a few photos to prove her whereabouts (I had to swim in scuba gear under the Tower Bridge and through the moat). I was able to positively identify her - crying for help - from the wall, and also from the small cold stone Tower room she is confined to (former prison room of Sir Walter Raleigh, long time prison resident of the Tower).
Even little Charlotte is under observation. She is trying to plea for her sister's innonence and freedom, but it always comes out sounding like "Mommy!"
We must prove that our dear girl is loyal and true. We are hoping the Queen will accept character references on Maddie’s behalf! We are here alone and friendless. We need your help – please send as many comments to the blog as possible attesting to Maddie’s innocence and good character. Only you can save her – we are running out of time! They are sharpening the axe as I type! Please spread the word we are desperate!
Helpless and Fearful,
Auntie Beth (See Aunt Beth's photo blog of this fearful day on http://web.mac.com/ebkfamily/iWeb/Site/Welcome.html under "photo 5")
7 comments:
Oh, dear! Oh, dear! How can this be? Our dear Maddie may lose her head?! We are so distressed! How can she finish 5th grade? How can she finish her Bible tapes & become an Honor Star? Is there a prison ministry that can supply her with a CD player and smuggle in New Testament CD's before it's too late? Or could she be granted a royal pardon? So many questions!
Of course, if she can really be crowned queen, that'd be so much better, don't you think? And I don't believe the Church of England is nearly as strict as Grandma Ginny's church about their crowning requirements!
Do these people know who they are dealing with? This innocent girl is a direct descendant of one of London's Lord Mayors! So what if no one remembers him! I'm sure he was terrific doing whatever Lord Mayors do!
We are appalled that our sweet girl is in such a political pickle at such a tender age. Why, she hardly even knows who Princess Di was! All I can say is, Thank God she learned to curtsey in Rose Marie Floyd's very proper dance school! Not like a lot of these uncultured girls today!
We swear on our English ancestry that she is innocent, innocent we tell you! Is a minute or two in the queen's special seat worth all this trouble?
I'm sure Jake and Carson can come up with a daring rescue plan! They'd never let their sweet sister lose her head, would they?
Hang on, Maddie! Help is on the way! Your 75% English Grandma Ginny
Oh dear, we just received the aweful news that our dear Princess Maddie (oops forget that royal reference) is trapped in the tower of London.
We are sure that this is all a terrible misunderstanding. You see Maddie thought that the elegant seat just a very plush portapotty (loo to you Brits) but caught herself just in time! She thought "sitting on the throne" meant something else since we don't have royalty over here! Let our Maddie go! Do be merciful to our precious granddaughter!
I say, "off with her head!", I never did trust Maddie, that sweet innocent face, those dimples, a mere ploy to distract us from the evil plots she is hatching! Now that the British government is finally on to her I personally feel vindecated, I knew it all along. I've got my eye on Charlotte too, don't let that drooling and babbling fool you.
Auntie Amy
In Maddie’s defense:
We are all stunned by the news of Maddie’s arrest and incarceration in the Tower of London. We must all go to her aid…this in no time for “I told you so”s.
Maddie is accused of being a seditious, scheming, pigtailed scoundrel and scalawag. In her defense, I will say here and now, that she does not always wear pigtails; sometimes her hair is down.
Sure; there are the photos of Maddie commandeering the airplane. And lurking about St. James Palace trying to compromise the Royal Guard. And hanging about the London public infrastructure like the mailbox, phone both and of course the Tube, where so much terrorist activity has occurred. Skulking outside of Parliament does not help the cause, either. And of course the unfortunate “misunderstanding” of Maddie seizing the Queen’s Throne in Westminster Abbey, and the tawdry forbidden photographs taken in that sacred place. But I say, “so what”!
Clearly the best thing to do is plead “guilty” and throw herself on the mercery of the Crown. Of course, I guess begging for mercy has not worked really well in the Tower of London in the past, but I say “so what”! If she agrees to cooperate, and implicate Aunt Beth as the real mastermind behind the plot, she may be freed.
If not, remind the Brits that we Americans kicked their prissy butts in 1776, and we’re ready to do it again! Good luck to you, Maddie; if I don’t see you again, it’s been swell. Other than that, I say “so what”!
……Grampa John
hey hey alicia says...
First she'll bag for forgivness. Pleed to be free. Then she'll flash those adorable perly whites and those cutie dimples.And amazingly they'll all get over it and it and go home! hehe!!!
love love love! Alicia
Maddie, We would really love to help you but the we are in the middle of breakfast and immediately after we are going for one more trip through the waterslides... so, we guess we will have to let you EAT CAKE!
Regretfully yours,
Daddy, Jacob and Carson
Oh come now Maddie, don't lose your head over all of this! Think, dear girl! What are your options? You could simply jump and be done with the whole sordid affair. We could sneak Charlotte up desguised as one of the Queen's soldiers, but I fear she would only end up curling up and falling asleep inside the bearskin hat. Maybe your mum and Aunt Beth could distract the guards with their girlish charms...flash them some leg in their new boots and such? Then you could sneak out disguised as a commoner. But you'll need to get rid of those tell-tale braids and adorable smile. Can you smudge some dirt on your forehead and try to look plain for once in your life??? If you do not act fast I fear all may be lost. In the meantime I will urge Princess Grace to appeal to the Queen herself for your swift release, but first I have to retrieve her from the new luxery hotel she is building...she is holding the best suite there for you and your family (hot breakfast is included)!
This is your mission should you choose to accept it. Be careful...Good luck and much love to you all~
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